The Crazy Knight’s Age of the Universe
Author: 愤怒的松鼠 (Angry Squirrel)
“A cheat system? Do you take me for a fool? Nowadays, where can you find such a good thing falling into your lap? Scram from my head. Is this is new kind of fraud? Or is this a murderer training system of aliens that contains the ability of hypnotism?”
“No, I am the chaos that whispers from nothingness, the nightmare of all living beings in the Southern Ten Stars, the successor of the unparalleled God and… your elder sister.”
“…I only have a younger sister, I don’t have an elder sister!”
“No, you have one. I am an illegitimate daughter. It’s just that your dad didn’t inform you.”
Sequel to The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich.
Chapter 1: Dark History and Will
Everyone probably has memories of their youth that would make them smile happily, make them sigh in bitterness and make them blush in embarrassment.
To a certain someone, today is a very special day.
He doesn’t know that what he is going to do today will create a dark history which would make him smash his head on the surface of table in embarrassment or the start of an unforgettable sweet reminiscence.
“I like you, please be my girlfriend.”
With only two people standing on the rooftop of the building, under the peeking of their best friends by the corner, when the furiously red-faced boy shouts out his feelings to the girl, the willow leaves rustle along with the spring breeze and the entire world is filled with the scent of youth.
“Alright. Actually, I have liked you for a long time as well.”
If the girl were to sweetly accept the confession of the boy, going by the story development, it could very well be the start of an incredibly sweet youth comedy.
However, most of the time, the recollections of one’s youth contains some bitterness. 90% of the events never go as planned.
“… I’m sorry. Actually, I have someone that I like.”
This is probably a realistic development. The development might end up to be winding but as long as the male protagonist were to continue to work hard in pursuing her, there might be a turning point.
“You useless trash, you dare to confess to me despite your background? How much fortune do you have? How much do you earn every year? Are you results good enough to go into that university? What kind of job do you intend to take on in the future. Let’s clarify it first, if your annual salary doesn’t hit a million, you can scram.”
Alright, this is a much more realistic development, as well as the ache in the hearts of countless matured men. However, this isn’t the worst case scenario.
At the very least, there is a possibility for them to fight on. It isn’t as despairing as the one below.
“I’m sorry. I like girls.”
This… The difficulty is really a little too high. If this isn’t an excuse came up by the girl to reject you, it is best if you give up directly.
“Haha. Actually, I am your mother/father/elder sister/younger brother.”
This is even more complicated. If that fellow didn’t watch too much Star Wars or Korean dramas, if what she said is true… Anyway, before you bring her for a blood test, it might still be better for you to bring her to a psychiatrist.
“I’m sorry. I am only into the 2D. I have no interest in 3D apes who grow leg hair and chest hair!”
This is even more despairing. Of course, to a small portion of comrades who have unique living habits, this kind of female shut-in might seem more desirable… However, the truth is that if the female shut-ins uses the 2D as a standard for comparison, they would have a much higher expectation for one’s outer appearance. Thus, the male shut-ins would be in for a tragedy.
Sometimes, the main difference between a novel and reality is that novels need to be logical. However, reality doesn’t have to be so.
“I like you, please be my girlfriend.”
“I’m sorry, I am a vampire and my family said that I am banned from going out with humans. Although you are only half a human, you are also a part of the 3D. I am only interested in the 2D and I do not have any interest in 3D apes who grow leg hair and chest hair! The ones that I like the most are 2D girls! Furthermore, I already have someone that I like!”
This scene… I’m sorry, as a onlooker, I have no idea how I should respond. There are too many points on it to retort on, where should I start…
“Smile, it is all fine as long as I smile… the hell! How is what is on top any different from a tragedy!! Furthermore, it is all of the tragedies put together as one! How much does one has to be of a failure to meet with this kind of incident? Furthermore, what do you mean by vampire? Is this really a high school of the real world? Give me back the perspective of a normal scientific world!”
In the classroom, even though a day has passed after that absolute failure of a confession, Roxia’s consecutive retort still echoes throughout the classroom.
That furious howl allows his new friends whom he had just met for two weeks to re-evaluate this youth.
Roxia.L.Harloys. It is a bizarre name and the owner of the name possesses an appearance that is even younger than his true age.
Despite having just undergone his 16th birthday, people would still believe him if he claims to be 10. People have often commented that his golden hair and small red face are extremely cute. Un, this is a natural babyface.
Barely reaching 50kg, he has a height of around 1.5m. Considering how a quarter of his mixed blood belongs to the Wood Elf who are blessed with eternal youth, his height is one that is worth taking pride in.
Wood Elf, it is one of the few races from Eich. That mystical race is similar to the little fairies in fairy tales. That is, an adult possessing the body and face of a child.
As a mixed blood, Roxia didn’t benefit from the advantages of his bloodline. Rather, due to his overly young outer appearance, he had countless dark histories and the previous one is far from the darkest one…
“I feel stressed being with you. I can still accept it if others treat me as your elder sister. However, when I am treated as your mother… Last month, Asha was only strolling with you when I was called an auntie. I find this unacceptable.”
Those of the same age as him looks as old as my mother… What can I do, I also feel despair.
“I have checked the lifespan of the Wood Elves and their growth period. I can accept my lover being younger than me, but if you have yet to reach your adolescence when I am already an old granny, how would I be different from an old virgin woman. That is simply too scary.”
This is probably the most serious answer Roxia had received, as well as the one he is at a loss to answer… He can’t possibly take off his pants and shout for her to take a glimpse at his ultimate hairy elephant? If he did that, Uncle Police would teach that little gangster a lesson and teach him what public decency means.
Although he has bumped into a wall for multiple times, considering how he could count with a single hand the number of mixed blood Wood Elves he has met since young, it is clear to see that the intense competition within the race is enough to make one stop in their footsteps. Roxia is determined to work hard in advance for his future happiness, just that…
“I’m sorry, although your confession to me with the intention of marriage in mind has moved me, I have always treated you as my little brother/younger brother/cutie/pet/uke…”
One cannot make a living out of being cute. One’s partner for life cannot be decided simply based on one’s looks. A large portion of the reply of the females are depressing.
Wait, isn’t there something weird mixed with in? What the heck is an uke? Also, isn’t there a problem with ‘pet’? That laughter of the big sister seems a little dangerous, should I call the police?!
Roxia’s outer appearance is slightly unique, but he is not much different from any other youths on Earth. He likes sports but hate excessive perspiration. He loves games but detest examinations… as well as how the time period of him being without a girlfriend is equivalent to his age.
If one must find an aspect extraordinary about him, that would be the talents of a mixed blood that he is born with. Roxia is blessed with extraordinary physical abilities. Even if he doesn’t train, he is able to become the backbone of a sports meet.
“Ah, I really want to go back home.”
Roxia has once asked himself that as a normal Earthling (his personal view), why would he go to other planets and enter this age of the universe where mystical beings roam, becoming an alien studying on the Eich galaxy.
Eich, similar to Earth, is an allied country of the Guardian Protocol. Both countries have maintained an allied relationship, but they have walked down a different type of route.
“As a middle schooler who believes in dialectical materialism, I find magic or whatsoever incomprehensible.”
Yes, Eich is a world of magic.
No, to be more exact, it is a world that is built on a civilisation of magic.
Normal Earthlings would suffer from Excessive Mana Syndrome in the midst of their acclimatisation period to the atmosphere. Previously, Roxia has vomited the blood of the aliens countless times. However, this seem to make his body adapt even more to the atmosphere and his body condition became better and better.
However, as an alien, he possesses different moral viewpoints from the indigenous population. Due to the difference in opinions, he has been made a fool of quite a few times.
“Seriously, my life plan has been ruined.”
Initially, Roxia has already planned out his life properly.
To go to school properly and study properly. After which, go into an average university and learn a skill which he could earn money from. Then, find an easy and prospect-less job, furthering his hobbies in the midst of working. Under the nagging of his friends and families, when he is done as a bachelor, he would find an average wife and get married.
When he is middle-aged, he would dump everything on the newbies who have joined the company and continue collecting his salary while slacking off until the year of his retirement. Afterwards, he would depart the world under the complaints of his sons and daughters of ‘why is that old geezer still alive’. If he is able to scam some tears on his funeral, that would be even more perfect. As for the mysterious things in his family heritage…
“I will dump it all on my younger sister who is interested in it. Compared to this average eldest son, she is much more adapted to the crazy and incomprehensible world of magic.”
However, it is a pity that just a week ago, Roxia received a latter which caused his plans and life goals to be smashed.
By the time you read this letter, I would have very well be dead. If you want to know who is the one who killed your beloved sister, please come to Eich’s Sauer 1st Galactic Knight Academy and court the lady named Isabelle. Right, little Belle is a 2D shut-in, so do attack her using her interests.
Yes, on Roxia’s 16th birthday, the present that he received isn’t anything pleasant, the death message and will of his twin sister.
From then on, Roxia’s world changed. He had no choice but to come to such a horrid place and court a girl he had never seen before to find the truth behind the death of his younger sister. From then on, his new life starts.